Life moves in seasons.
Right now, I’m 42 years old. My kids are 10 and 7. The younger one still wants me — still looks for me when they wake up, still asks me to play, still holds my hand without thinking about it. The older one is more independent now, with friends, hobbies, and a growing sense of self.
And here’s the thing that hit me recently:
This is a magical window — the years when my kids still need me and still want me.
But this window is colliding head-on with another phase of life: the peak of my career.
The Collision of Two Powerful Tides
For many of us in our late 30s to 40s, life feels like a tug-of-war between two major forces:
Tide 1: The Career Peak
- These are the years when our skills, experience, and network are at their strongest.
- Promotions, bigger projects, and leadership opportunities often show up now.
- It’s the moment when your hard work in the past starts paying off.
- But it’s also the phase when the workload can be heaviest — high expectations, long hours, and constant deadlines.
Tide 2: The Parenting Magical Window
- Your kids are old enough to talk, laugh, and share adventures with you.
- They still look for you first, before their friends or their screens.
- They still want bedtime stories, weekend play, and random hugs.
- But they’re also growing quickly — the window closes quietly, without announcement.
When these two tides meet, something has to give. Either your work absorbs most of your energy, leaving you with the scraps of time for your kids, or you intentionally re-balance in favor of being present at home.
Why This Window Is So Short
If your child is 7 today, they have about 5 to 6 more years before they hit the teenage shift — when friends and independence become their main world. If your child is 10, you may already feel that shift starting.
That means your “full hands, full hearts” parenting phase might be down to just a few more years.
Childhood is like an express train:
- The baby and toddler years are intense but slow in memory.
- The primary school years feel steady, but each year passes faster.
- By secondary school, they’re sprinting toward adulthood.
The paradox? These final fully dependent years often coincide with the most career-defining years you’ll ever have.
The Illusion of “Later”
It’s tempting to think:
“I’ll focus on work now and spend more time with my kids later, when things calm down.”
But here’s the catch — there is no guarantee “later” will look the way you imagine.
By the time your workload slows, your kids might already be deep into their own lives. They might be in university, working part-time, or spending most of their free time with friends.
You can’t reschedule a child’s 8th birthday or their Year 4 school concert. You can’t rewind to the night they wanted you to lie beside them until they fell asleep.
Careers can be paused, reshaped, or reignited. Childhood moments? They only happen in real time.
The Crossroads of Two Non-Renewable Resources
This stage of life is a meeting point between two things you can never get back:
- Time with your kids while they are still children
- Momentum in your professional journey
Here’s what makes it tricky — both have value, both are fleeting, and both can impact the rest of your life.
Most people only notice the tension when one side is already lost. You’ll meet executives who regret missing family dinners for 15 years, and you’ll meet parents who scaled back work but now feel financially insecure.
The challenge is to navigate this while you’re in it — before the decision is made for you.
Rethinking “Peak” and “Trade-Offs”
The first step is questioning the story we’ve been told about “peak career years.”
We often think:
- You must give your absolute maximum to work between ages 35–50 to secure your future.
- Any slowing down means falling behind permanently.
- Once you “miss your shot,” it’s gone forever.
But reality is more flexible:
- Career peaks can happen multiple times, especially with new skills, new industries, or entrepreneurship.
- Technology and remote work have created more flexible paths for advancement.
- Sometimes, slowing down in one phase allows you to leap further later — because you’re rested, renewed, and more focused.
Your work identity can evolve. Your role as a parent will, too — but the “parent of small children” chapter is one of the shortest.
Practical Ways to Make This Window Count
Balancing career ambition and family presence doesn’t mean quitting your job tomorrow or sacrificing your financial security. It’s about being intentional in both arenas.
1. Define Your Non-Negotiables
Decide which family moments you’re not willing to miss.
Examples:
- Daily bedtime routine
- Being there for school performances and sports events
- Having dinner together at least 4 nights a week
Treat these as immovable meetings in your calendar — because they are.
2. Redesign Your Work Routines
Look for ways to maintain career progress without constant overwork.
- Negotiate for flexible hours or partial remote work.
- Batch meetings into certain days.
- Block focus time for deep work so you can leave on time.
Small structural changes can buy you hours each week.
3. Be Fully Present in the Time You Have
An hour of undistracted, engaged time with your kids beats three hours of half-listening while scrolling emails.
- Leave your phone in another room.
- Enter their world — games, stories, or conversations about whatever excites them.
4. Build Financial Buffers
Part of the anxiety about spending more time with family is money. The more you have in savings or passive income, the freer you feel to say no at work when needed.
5. Revisit Your Definition of Success
Write down your personal definition of a successful life — not just career success.
Ask yourself:
- Does this definition allow me to be the parent I want to be?
- In 20 years, will I be glad I made this trade-off?
Mindset Shifts That Help
Shift 1: From “Maximizing Work” to “Optimizing Life”
The goal isn’t to get the highest possible career title as quickly as possible — it’s to design a life that feels rich in all dimensions.
Shift 2: From “Later” to “Now”
Postponed presence is often presence denied. If it matters, bring it forward into the current season.
Shift 3: From “Either/Or” to “Both/And”
You may not have to choose entirely between career and kids. It’s often about creative arrangements, shifting priorities for a few years, and finding ways to excel sustainably.
The Future You’ll Thank Yourself For
Picture yourself 20 years from now.
- Your career will have evolved — maybe you’ve changed industries, started something of your own, or climbed further than you expected.
- Your kids will be grown, with their own lives.
When you look back, will you wish you’d stayed late at that extra meeting, or will you treasure the afternoons you spent at the playground, the bedtime talks, the shared family dinners?
We remember moments, not milestones. Your children will remember your presence far more than your job title.
My Personal Take
For me, realizing this overlap — this rare, precious window — has shifted how I make decisions.
I still care deeply about my work. I still push myself to grow professionally. But I no longer accept the default assumption that work should always take priority just because “this is the peak career phase.”
Instead, I’m asking:
- What matters most right now?
- If I miss this, can I get it back?
- In which areas am I truly irreplaceable?
With my kids, I’m irreplaceable now. At work, I’m valued — but I can be replaced if needed. That tells me where my unique presence matters most.
Closing Thoughts
Life gives us only so many years when our children are small enough to want us close, yet old enough to truly share experiences with us. This phase is magic — but it’s also fragile.
If you’re in it now, pay attention.
Don’t sleepwalk through it thinking you’ll make up for it later.
Later will be different. Later will be another season.
The career will still be there in some form.
Your 7-year-old who calls out “Come play with me!” will not.
Choose with that in mind.
Reflection Prompt:
Tonight, ask yourself: What am I willing to adjust in my career, schedule, or habits to fully experience this magical window with my kids?
Then take one small action this week to make it happen.